What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
