just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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