oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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