So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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