Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
