ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
