No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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