Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize