are you still at the devil's house?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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