dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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