on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
