Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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