Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
