yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Terrible idea I love it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
