You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
