you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
