Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
