He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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