youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
