My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
