so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
