he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
