Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
