happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
