Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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