Swine flu. Run for my life!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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