Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
