I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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