There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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