physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
