How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
