My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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