he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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