hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
