Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
