I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
