All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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