I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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