return my video game
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
