i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
