there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize