if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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