I'm lost and stupid without you.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
