I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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