what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
