I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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