okay pat passed out under dana's car
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
