i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
