I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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