you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
