y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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