you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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