I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
