someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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