What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
