She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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