CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize