The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
smell my finger.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
