took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
